So I'm always the first to say life is a journey, and even more so readily admit that when you are strengthening your walk with the Lord the most the devil strikes even harder. So why am I surprised with the status of my life right now. For all you who don't know. I''m sick. Not the cancer, have a lot of surgeries and follow up sick---I'm down and out physically sick. On most days keeping up with my 2 year old and 4 month old feels like defeat from the time I hear Maaa in the crib in the morning. Worse as I barely get them baths and to bed by 7. In which I usually follow right behind and pray that I can get the best sleep possible.
There is a first for everything it seems, and mine happened to be an ambulance ride last Tuesday. If anyone has had Graves Disease or Hyperthyroidism knows it is no joke, and Thyroid storm wasn't either. The good news is I finally got my medicine in me and I knew my life was going down hill when you have to buy a pill box. Yes no laughing matter. That is me. Thyroid meds, beta blockers, anxiety pills, and nausea we have them all. For someone who won't take a vitamin this has been a lifestyle to get used to. As the ER doctors told me it would take a good 3-4 weeks to work for me that has seemed like eternity. Most days are an adventure never knowing when the next "adrenaline wave" they like to call them will come. Only hoping that one of my dear friends, sitters or my husband will be here for the ride with me.
I'm certain I have never been more private until now about something, nor more scared. I feel like I'm dying some days and others I'm feeling back to normal. It's a cycle of patience of faith and of grace that I'm trying to find so desperately. I never understand the whys of many situations, especially my health issues, but what I do know is God gives his greatest struggles to his bravest warriors. I hope I fit the bill.
So I ask for prayers. Prayers for strength mostly, hope and a quick recovery. As I wait to go Dec. 19th to the Endocrinology team I can find out if I can add another surgery the belt or maybe radioactive therapy. Either way I want to feel better. Any thyroid patient will tell you it's not easy. It takes a lot of patience and a good support system. God humbled the girl that fluffed pillows until midnight, super woman after birth and never asked for help. Today I'm screaming HELP from the top of the mountaintops. Mostly for prayer, great doctors with solutions and for God to take this on for me. Truly to date the hardest battle, but knowing when I come out of this which I will, there is many true lifestyle changes in store. Mostly how to enjoy each day, my current situation and just to cherish my health first and foremost. I urge you all to as well. I only wish I knew now back then.
Prayers are needed for my family. It's been a really tough journey for us over the past 4 years....and I know the reward is up ahead.