Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Pumpkin Party!!

Cash and I are so excited for Pumpkin season! We love anything pumpkin and let me tell you one of my favorite things is Pumpkin Facial Mask. Here is a pic of us making our favorite cookies! Cash was an icing hog and showed no remorse ! I will be sharing our favorite recipes in the coming days...

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Tell Him Your Plans....

Some people have big dreams in this life. Some to be doctors, lawyers, teachers and bankers! I just wanted to be a Mom and Wife. Probably once upon a time that was very normal and admirable, today it is much less the norm.

My Mom used to say I couldn't wait to play house with my dolls or barbies, even home schooling them with old school books! I guess that was why my Mom pushed me towards teaching due to my love for kids! I started down that path but the fact I wanted a zoo of my own I realized it probably wasn't the most sane to take.

5 years ago this month one word threatened that dream , cancer! Not just cancer but cancer of my uterine lining and cervix that was the only thing that could grant me the ability to have children! Lots of tears, prayers and miracles later I sit as a stay at home Mom to two beautiful children. All due to a medical procedure that was placed by no other than the help of Gods miraculous hands!

2 1/2 months ago we all set in awe. This so called "thread" called a permanent cerclage had withstood 2 children and one full term. A true testimony of faith. Plus the news of my clear cancer scan pushing back to my first 6 month check and an extension of my ability to have more kids I've been walking on clouds! Until today.

A week and a half ago on a random Friday night I started to Hemmorage A medical emergency that led to a night in the ER and a lot of panic. I didn't receive true answers that night as the ER team did their job to get the bleeding stopped but I was to see my OB team to get some real answers an assumed cyst that had ruptured from a complication of the c-section, I prayed this was the cause.

This morning when I went in it wasn't the case. My permanent miracle cerclage had ripped out. Leaving me sitting in amazement of the irony! We worked so hard during each pregnancy to secure it with all cost and a random Friday night the decision for my future was pretty much made for me !

I was counseled that if I was set on one more child they may be able to attempt getting a new one in, in which I swore I would never endure again! I also was told to really consider the other option of never again having children.

Some will say be grateful and if anyone knows me can attest I am that times ten. Yet no one can tell you how to feel when all you ever wanted is not in the cards. I sit today reflecting on many things! Mostly can I rally from this, am I selfish to want more and mostly am I deep down bitter for this journey and so many decisions to always make. Will that make me a bad Christian!

If I know anything the Lord isn't mad today, he feels my hurt. He knows the desires of my heart and he understands the anger! He also knows my future that I can't see. Only he can and it will all work out for his glory!

It reminds me of a quote I love but hate to live out at the time! "If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans."

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Be a Real Witness

Today we live in a world that is far from Andy Griffith, I love Lucy and  the good ole' Lassie days. When all we had to worry about was sitting down at the right time for dinner and the kids getting to bed on time.  Now we are scared to take our children to the movie theater in the chance a gun man that has had to much to bear in his childhood ,will take the life of mine.

Politics isn't about good ole fashioned debates, it's now become spiritual warfare.  God is booed, killing babies cheered for and all we can do is sit back and watch.  Place blame on who? It must be the President, it must be our neighbor who is liberal and it must be the parents fault--definitely the parents.  Yet when the truth be known, march right in the  bathroom and take a good hard look at yourself.  You my friend are to blame.

We've all fallen trap to the societies norm. Filling up our kids schedules by the age of two, working for the American dream except it looks far different these days.  Now it's two expense SUV's and a mortgage you have no business paying. As the national debt continues climbing, now over 16 trillion, give yourself a big pat on the back because most of us have contributed largely.

Taking God out of politics is the problem? No we took God out of our lives.  No I'm a Christian we say....well you may call yourself that but the way you carry your life screams a far different story. That is exactly why no one is buying in to your so called religious life, where there is no action only words its very hard to believe.  I am going to be the first to tell you I wanted to fire off a political rant today on this blog, my forum.  About how awful Democrats were.   I am honest when I say I didn't sleep a wink last night thinking about the images of people booing  God and cheering abortion.  I was sick.  I  prayed hard and I didn't get pity. All I heard  back was you haven't done your job for me.   

You see I love God.  I believe in God.  I adore him in fact.  Although my feelings are touching, my actions towards others would say a lot more.  You see that is what has happened, those exact  people booing haven't gotten to know him , his amazing story.  They look at the bible beaters, the accusers and the hypocrites and they want nothing to do with our so called forced religion. They feel condemned, beat down and an outcast.  They haven't even wanted to get to know the God we do. Freely finding his love, his grace, his mercy.  All it has done is pushed them farther to the extreme creating far more problems that we could have ever foreseen.

I'm a Republican not because of my religion, but because of my beliefs. I  feel strongly against abortion, I'm strongly an advocate of traditional marriage, and limited Government.  These are strong beliefs as the opposing side has their views. These issues alone have caused great division in our country on value alone, but now it's more than that.  It's a battle of good vs.evil and the sad thing is our children are on the losing end.  Today I ask you not to vote, not to judge and not to rant. I ask you to pray for our country.  Pray to strengthen your faith, so maybe you can be a true witness to what the  word "God" really means.

If you get time please read this amazing article that touches on many things I highlighted.  Worth your time.

Relish the Present

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Compassion in the Darkest Places


  [kuhm-pash-uhn]  Show IPA
a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a       strong desire to alleviate the suffering.

My first day back after a long break from writing I had a huge laundry list of things that have been compiled in my writing memory bank. New babies, politics, home disasters the list could go on. Yet a picture on a friends Facebook page really called out to me, and something I feel many people need to hear  today.

To find compassion is to find understanding.  This is something I have been embracing more and more as the years go, especially as a wife and Mother. When we were younger and still a struggle today, we formed judgements about others by how they look, act and mostly how they treat us. As I have a son and more so a fragile daughter, I can visualize now the little pig tailed girl running in from school crying about how mean or awful someone is being to her.  In which I now have rehearsed and will confidently say, some days easier than others.... "It's not about you".

I truly believe and know that behind every unkind action,word or judgement stems from hurt.  A hurt so deep that all of us couldn't comprehend.  Their anger is nothing more than a mask and strong desire to alleviate their pain at others expense. A journey they were given that they have yet to surrender to, that they have yet to give up control and that they have yet most importantly learned to find forgiveness for themselves. 

As a Mom I can tell you I could surely use some compassion some days, and thankfully my husband is full of understanding. With all the opinions, ideas, and mockery thrown at us on a  daily basis it's a wonder any of us stay sane.  I can't tell you the times during the day I beat myself up. The house is a mess, I look awful, my terrible two is not normal it's a result of me being a poor Mom, etc... The list goes on....I continue to beat myself down until the person I can throw it on for mere survival, comes through the door (i.e. my husband).  Luckily for me, he doesn't judge, he understands and there you find compassion.

Luke 23:24 always comes to mind when I find myself hurt by others judgements or actions towards me or my cruelty towards myself...."Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do."  Before you judge always  remember, the Lord has given each of us a journey. Amazing tests of our love for him. It can rock us to our core, make us unfamiliar with ourselves and others.  We hurt and we hurt others.  Ironically nothing more than  a plea to be understood and to have someone connect and understand with us.

Next time you feel led to judge-- stop yourself. Really look at the situation from all sides, and better yet get to know the person.Get to know their struggles, their past, their present.  There you learn to forgive, to understand and maybe truly get to know someone else or for that matter know yourself.

Children must be taught how to think, not what to think.” 
― Margaret Mead