This weekend will find many happy ladies out there soaking up the praise of what a great job they are doing. How loved they are and finally feeling appreciated for the 24 hour work they do to make the circle turn. Haggard Moms everywhere will finally or hopefully get a day to themselves. No diaper changes, no soccer runs and no feeding anyone but themselves. Or at least that is how it should be. Yet this time every year I think of the different group of ladies. The ones I used to be a part of. I like to call them the in between clan.
The ones who sit waiting, wondering when it will be their time to celebrate one of life's greatest achievements. Becoming a Mom. Maybe they face the silent and sometimes shameful demon of infertility. They sit back and watch as their friends, siblings and relatives have so much to be thankful for and all they can do is sit and pray. That maybe this time next year life will take a miraculous turn for them and they too can join play dates, Mom Groups and feel a part of the nations largest club.
I understand this well because 4 years ago I sat where they do, and I was so very sad. I wanted so much to get a Mothers Day card, I wanted a holiday to celebrate, and I wanted to fit in. I know how much it hurts and how doubtful our faith can get. I sat with 3 years of infertility and if that test wasn't tough enough, Cancer struck on top of it. Not just any cancer, cervical cancer the one cancer that can surely in a minute stop your chances of ever carrying a child. Not once but twice it reoccurred in that 2 year span. 4 surgeries later, many trips to fertility specialists after oncology appointments...and many prayers said I opted against fertility totally. The holy spirit kept whispering hold on, I have plans for you. Let me tell you the greatest listening I ever did, was the day I stood up and walked out of the last specialist and said I just can't do this.
6 months later God rewarded me, I saw the pink line. Nothing short of a miracle, but the testing wasn't over. 5 months in we almost lost our first and precious angel. We had to make a decision in less than 5 minutes to either proceed with an emergency surgery or let this pregnancy go and tackle the next beforehand if it came. We opted for the miraculous surgery that not only saved my son's life, yet also withstood a whole other pregnancy 2 years later. In which God blessed us with a baby girl.
I have always had faith, but when you sit in that moment you have to believe. All the odds were stacked against us...yet we believed. We believed God would perform miracles, move mountains. He did! He gave us not only one child, but two. Not only a boy, but a girl. He knew our plan far beyond what we could see. I always think of the story of Sarah in the bible. Not able to conceive for years God told them to wait and see what he could do. No doubt at a older age God followed through with his promise. Nothing is impossible for those who wait with faith.
So on this weekend I absolutely am always humbled and reminded of God's goodness, his power and his mercy. I also pray very hard for those women who sit desperately wanting children who have no clue what their future holds. I pray God places his miraculous hands on them and more importantly they listen to what he promises. It's truly worth the wait.
So happy Mother's Day you beautiful Mother's out there. No doubt the hardest job with the most rewards you could ever have. Much Love....from our Blessings to yours!