There I lost it. Tears streamed. Right Here I was doubting myself, my worth, my vision....for what a few had to say. Had to question. I immediately wanted to hide. Then in an instant I stopped. I remembered the truth the Lord has placed in me. No longer will anyone try to change me. I know what God has led me to do and it is to speak truth. Connect.
I've learned so much about myself this year. I love through words typed on paper. Not words on the phone. Not even words in person. My vulnerability comes freely when I sit with a keyboard and silence. Somehow my dream works. I've reached more people, far more people with truth then false witness mostly behind screen. I may not be changing the world with big ideas, but if my compassion reaches a few. I believe God smiles.
In my study today I read sometimes those closest to us just can't understand where we are. The changes taking place. Our journey. I've learned it's not personal, it's just fact. I also know God puts people in your lives who do. The perfect people for the moment. We mustn't take offense to others questions and concerns. Yet we mustn't be ashamed of where God is taking us either.
I'm a Momastery junkie and today this rang out to me:
HELLO, EVERYBODY! I’M GLENNON! IM A LITTLE CONFUSED AND TIRED AND IMPATIENT AND MY PEOPLE DRIVE ME INSANE AND I HAVE ALL THESE VARIOUS DISEASES AND MY FAMILY’S A LITTLE BANGED UP- BUT I’M PRETTY SURE THAT’S JUST LIFE – SO I’M HERE TO HELP ANYWAY.” - Glennon
Oh I could have typed it myself. Yes I'm a Mom of 2 under 3. My life is nuts. I'm strung out half the time, in love the other half. I live 7-9hours from my family, all my family. I've been sick, truly sick keeping it all together with the help of some angels along the way. My husband works a lot and when he's home he helps me. Helps me survive it all. I worry all the time if we are ok, if he is ok but God always reassures me we are. He was sent to me. He is growing too and messy the same. A great work of God.
Am I ashamed? no! Am I scared? everyday. Am I ok....beyond. As are each of you. I'm more at peace now with my Heavenly Father and for that all of it is worth it. He wants messy, he wants you to know it is....so you and I together can witness his clean up work. In which I will continue to share and I hope I inspire you to as well. I've learned that is my purpose and I can't block that. He is asking me not too, the one person who's opinion I value the most.